How grief, unexplained experiences, intuition and a lifelong search for answers led me to self-acceptance — and eventually to coaching.
I didn’t become a life coach because I had figured life out.
I became one after spending much of my own life searching for answers — about experiences I couldn’t explain, about intuition, about why I felt different, and ultimately, about who I was.
For years, I thought finding the right explanation would finally give me peace.
Instead, the search led me somewhere I wasn’t expecting…Back to myself.
The Little Girl Who Saw the World Differently
For most of my life, I have been searching for answers.
The little girl I was was introduced to a different perception of life and existence. What I once thought was ordinary and normal gradually became something else. As my innocent mind began to understand more of the world around me, I was also introduced to a different reality — one that would bring fear, confusion and questions into my life.
Since I was a little girl, I have had experiences that I couldn’t explain.
I would see, hear and feel what I understood as spirit and entities. Sometimes, I would know things without understanding where the information came from. I would sense people’s thoughts. feelings and emotions.
I knew what I was experiencing.
But I didn’t know how to explain it.
When My Experiences Doesn’t Match Other People’s Reality
I remember going to my parents and telling them about some of these experiences.
My father would sometimes tell me perhaps it was my imagination. At the other times, he interpreted these experiences through his religious beliefs and told me that demons might be tricking me and that I should pray more.
But there were experiences that, from my perspective, seemed to help me and my family. There were moments when I believed we had been protected or guided by them.
And so the conflict grew.
I knew what I was experiencing, yet the world around me offered different explanations for it.
Some friends and people I trusted found me strange.
Some called me crazy.
Eventually, I questioned my own sanity too.
There were times when I considered what I experienced a gift. There were other times when I wished I didn’t experience any of it because of the grief, fear and pain that sometimes came with it.
Yet throughout the different stages of my life — studying, working, helping my parents and siblings, getting married, raising my children and doing businesses — I carried one question:
Why do I exist on Earth?
I often felt that I was here for a purpose.
I couldn’t explain that purpose. I simply carried the feeling with me.
When I Had Enough
My mother’s death wasn’t the beginning of my questions.
Long before losing her, I had experienced what I interpreted as signs of death connected with people played significant roles in my life — my big sister, grandparents, relatives, my father and others.
Then came my mother…I felt something months before she passed.
When we eventually lost her, something inside me changed.
I had enough.
I lost my motivations. For months, I felt almost paralysed. I disconnected from people, especially from my family.
And somewhere in that grief, I also became disconnected from myself.
The people around me sometimes failed me, yet I also felt the presence of something nurturing, calm and safe guiding me through my journey.
I trusted that feeling.
I was knocked down many times.
Somehow, I kept getting up.
As I continued surviving in the outside world, I repeatedly found myself looking into my internal world for safety and rescue.
Eventually, I made myself a promise:
I will find answers.
My Search Took Me Everywhere
I consulted psychics.
I read and watched materials about paranormal and mystical experiences. I explored hypnotism. I traced ancient histories. I read books about psychology.
Some explanations resonated with me.
But there was always another part of me asking questions.
I felt that my experiences were real, but I also believed there must be ways of exploring them beyond mysticism.
So I kept searching.
Eventually, I encountered ideas from transpersonal psychology and learned about highly sensitive people. Some of what I discovered resonated deeply with how I had experienced the world.
I also began learning about intuition and the ways our brains and bodies process information, including information outside our immediate conscious awareness.
That gave me another direction.
It didn’t suddenly answer every question I had carried since childhood.
Something more important began happening.
I became calmer.
I wasn’t Only Finding Answers. I Was Finding Myself.
Researching and studying brought me into a space of calmness and acceptance of myself — my whole being.
I began loving myself more than before.
I became more willing to trust my intuition while continuing to question, learn and understand it.
And gradually, I stopped requiring everyone around me to understand my inner world before I could accept myself.
For most of my life, I had fought accepting my true identity.
Now I understand:
I am what I am, and I am who I am.
That doesn’t mean I have found every answer…I haven’t
Perhaps I won’t find all of them within my lifetime.
But I realised that I don’t have to fight.
I can seek knowledge.
I can develop understanding.
I can remain curious.
And I can accept myself while questions remain unanswered.
That changed how I experience the outside world.
Before, I often looked inward for safety and rescue.
Today, I look inward for guidance.
Then I Found Life Coaching
When I first became interested in life coaching, I took the course partly for myself.
I wanted to learn.
But as I continued studying human behaviour, intuition, psychology and coaching, something became clearer.
My purpose hadn’t suddenly appeared.
It had always been there.
Since childhood, I had carried a sense that I was here to guide people.
Throughout my life, I found myself helping my family, friends and even strangers in different ways. Whenever I saw someone move forward after a conversation, something inside me felt fulfilled.
Life coaching wasn’t something completely new to me.
It became another platform for something I felt I had been doing throughout my life.
But there was an important choice I needed to make.
Why I Chose to Guide Rather Than Tell
Because of the way I experience other people, there are times when I feel that I can sense something beneath their words — their emotions, thoughts or inner conflicts.
I could tell someone what I think, I see or feel.
But I chose something different.
I chose to help them see for themselves.
This is also one of the reasons I chose not to define my professional work around being a psychic.
I chose coaching.
Why?
Because telling someone what I think or perceive may give them temporary relief.
But guiding someone to look within themselves can give them something they can use for a lifetime.
My own life taught me this.
People gave me many explanations for who I was and what I experienced.
Imagination.
Religion.
Mysticism.
Psychic phenomena.
Psychology.
Science gave me other questions and possibilities.
But ultimately, nobody else could do the searching for me.
I observe.
Question.
Learn.
Experience.
And eventually, accept.
That is what I want to offer another human being.
Not another voice telling them who they are.
A space where they can begin hearing themselves.
What Alignment Means to Me
Today, alignment isn’t about having a perfect life.
For me, being aligned means feeling connected to my whole being.
My body is calmer and responds differently when challenges come.
My mind becomes quieter — observing, processing and finding answers rather than immediately fighting everything it encounters.
My heart becomes firmer when making decisions.
And my spirit feels safe enough to be brave.
I have lived much of my life battling the noises in my head, fears, self-doubt and conflicts between my emotions and intuition.
I kept going.
I kept listening.
I kept questioning.
I kept searching.
And somewhere along that journey, searching for answers became understanding.
Understanding became acceptance.
Acceptance became trust.
And trust brought me home.
My Home Is My Spirit
I have always carried the understanding that I am here for a purpose — to experience this world, to learn and understand people.
There were times when I felt closer to the spiritual world than the world around me. There were times when I struggled to explain myself in ways other people could understand.
I don’t expect everyone to experience or understand the world in the way I do.
They don’t have to.
My experiences are mine.
My interpretations are mine.
And my questions continue.
Our understanding of ourselves and our world continues to evolve. I see people becoming increasingly curious about consciousness, intuition, emotion and the parts of ourselves that aren’t always easy to put into words.
Perhaps this is why I finally feel safe enough to share more of myself.
I also want to preserve these thoughts, experiences and discoveries for my children and the generations who come after them.
Perhaps I won’t find every answer in this lifetime.
Maybe that isn’t the point anymore.
I have come to understand my life as being here for a purpose: to experience this world, to learn, to understand people and, where I can, to guide.
I spent years searching for somewhere my spirit could safely dwell.
Now I understand something differently.
My home is my spirit.
I feel as though I have entered another phase of my life.
Like a butterfly, transformation hasn’t erased everything that came before it. Every question, loss, fear, experience and search has travelled with me.
But I no longer feel that I need to fight against myself.
And when I look back at the little girl who was frightened, confused and desperately trying to understand why her world felt so different, I know what I would tell her now:
You don’t have to keep fighting.
You are finally home.
A Reflection from UnEarthly Life
This journey eventually became part of the foundation of UnEarthly Life — a space for people who may be questioning, overthinking, feeling disconnected from themselves or simply trying to hear their own voice beneath the noise.
I don’t believe my role as a life coach is to give people the answers to their lives.
My work is to guide them as they slow down, look within, questions what they have been carrying, develop awareness and find the clarity and self-trust to discover their own direction.
Because sometimes the answer we spend years searching for isn’t somewhere outside us.
Sometimes, the journey is about learning how to return to ourselves.